Over the last 60 days, Americans have experienced more home time with their families. In many ways, they have reacquainted themselves their refrigerators, their hand soap, and Zoom meetings. Most of us can handle such changes for a short time, but a wholesale disruption in our routines and a pervading sense of house arrest can cause a measure of anxiety.
So here are Uncle Gerry’s tips for maximizing familial relationships while minimizing your anxiety.
Adapt
Every eastern-leaning tree on the prairie testifies that the mature life is the flexible life. It’s ok to bend from the west winds of strife, but we don’t want to break. Yield on matters of low significance. It is matters of high significance that we should be willing to die for. During an epidemic/pandemic there are always extra flashpoints that show up, as we try to adapt to changing reports and circumstances. Patience can help us adapt to these changes.
A Story
My wife and I have a date every Tuesday night—a pattern we have adopted for 20 years. It keeps us connected to each other, and is always something special to look forward to each week.
Two months ago (has it really been that long?)—after Mr. Governor placed Ohio on lockdown—it was date night. Nan wanted to go to Panera Bread. We knew we weren’t allowed to eat inside, and weren’t sure if they were even open. They were. We ordered soup and bread, and maybe even a pastry or two.
Nope. We were not allowed to eat inside, but the girls working there offered to let us taste test almost every soup they had. We had a great time not eating inside but tasting inside, and the employees enjoyed serving us the tiny spoonfuls of soup. Eventually we left to eat our real supper.
Where do you want to go Nan? “Well, there is a park halfway across town, let’s eat there.” I pulled in and parked in the park parking lot (tongue twister). Right away we discovered what many of you have already discovered. You should have told us. Our car makes a lousy restaurant!
Too cold to eat outside, I selected a choice parking spot. We opened up our soups, and eyed them with enthusiasm, spoons ready. Just then, the sun came out from behind the pea-soup cloud bank (no pun intended) and shone in my wife’s eyes. Eager to please I said “There’s a better spot over there, where the sun won’t get in your eyes.” I set my opened container of soup tenderly on the armrest, and drove the car carefully to the upgrade spot. All went well until the uhh….speed bump. Teetering with the car, the evil broccoli soup jumped over into the passenger seat, oblivious that my wife was already sitting there. I hate that sort of thing. She hollered (understandably). I hit the brakes, grabbed the (mostly empty) soup container and jumped out of the car to toss it on the grass. Unfortunately the car wasn’t quite in park and kept moving along without me. Holler #2. I jumped back in and stabbed the brakes. Parked now, although near the middle of the lane.
Just at that time, all of the other parkers in the park decided to leave, which means they had to drive right by our car in the middle of the lane—and my soupy wife who had gotten out of the car with broccoli soup all over the back and left side of her skirt. The look of revulsion on passerby’s faces was inspiring—many of them mistaking the soup for something else. My wife tried to explain to them as they drove slowly by, that we had spilled the soup and weren’t sick from CV19 death virus, or something. “Right” they said as they raced off in a Ford Grimace.
Thanks to a spare pack of toilet paper in the back seat of the car (no, I wasn’t hoarding it, just being prepared) we de-souped the wife and the car (in that order). I placed an emergency rain coat that I carry in the car on the seat and we drove back to Panera. I told the laughing girls there what happened, ending with the statement “It’s the Governor’s fault. If we could have eaten INSIDE the restaurant, this never would have happened!” Fortunately they gave me a replacement soup (although I was willing to pay for it). I like that sort of thing.
Unfortunately, a stout matronly customer lectured me for questioning the “heroic Governor’s” state lockdown edict which was bound to “save millions of lives.” New math, maybe.
I grabbed my soup (carefully) and we drove home. I pulled into the garage, shut the car off and turned to my wife. For fifteen years, we always end date night with this ritual. We look at each other and say (in unison) “Best date ever” and then I kiss the ‘bride.’ What to do this time? My wife waited. I said “Uhh..worst date ever, but the next one will be awesome.” We both laughed heartily. That brings me to another tip.
Humor
Don’t lose your sense of humor during this stressful time. Even unpleasant scenes and events can offer an opportunity to be a bit lighthearted, if we look for it. It’s not only ok to smile, it’s necessary for a healthy life (Proverbs 17:22). Now there are many things that are not funny in life, in fact some are quite serious. But appropriate humor does good like a medicine and what could be more welcome during an epidemic than some medicine? Joy in your life can also attract others to Christ. They like that sort of thing.
Repent
Before going to bed that night, I made sure to clear something up “It wasn’t the draconian Governor’s fault. It was my fault.” He didn’t place the soup on the armrest. Just admit it. The Lord likes that sort of thing (Psalm 146:8; Deut. 7:9; Proverbs 15:9; Psalm 103:11; 138:6). I also apologized to my wife for spilling the soup.
Make New Friends
I noticed something interesting when we would meet people in the parks lately. During a pandemic when we meet people, we usually skip the first phase of a relationship where we decide if we like them or not. We jumped right to the next phase, where we were best friends immediately. They are all coming to Thanksgiving dinner, now. The same thing happens during a winter blizzard. “He that would have friends must show himself friendly.”
People are relational creatures. It isn’t good or healthy to be cut off from other people for an extended period of time. One of the dangers of state lockdowns is elevated depression levels among many people. There are lots of relationships that God has given each of us for our benefit, and we should cultivate and appreciate those relationships. Don’t let lockdowns keep you from communicating with those you love.
The Bible
My wife and I begin each day with a Bible verse or chapter. That sets the tone for the rest of the day, and reminds us that we are on the same team; we are on God’s side. That’s important as we navigate through falling stock markets, cancelled customer projects and a defalcation of toilet paper. “Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” I love that sort of thing.
So these are some tips that have helped us. Feel free to add your own in the comment section, and be blessed! Better days are coming.
Ps.
Don’t scream. Wait on the shout of the Archangel. And lean to the east, like those trees on the prairie.
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