Over a decade ago I was sitting in a college class as a raging feminist. I felt inferior, victimized and internalized anger because of suffering abuse (you can read my testimony on this site).
Not knowing what to do or how to feel or how to heal, I became easy intellectual prey for my college professors who were liberal feminists. They believed the only solution was to inundate me with feminist literature. What they thought I needed was more power. What they lacked was the true power of forgiveness. Looking back at my spiritual journey, I see the mighty hand of God that transformed me from a raging feminist to a conservative Christian woman. Here is how we can reach out to others for the kingdom of God. But first, this is how a woman becomes a feminist.
1. Fatherlessness
The first man a woman loves is her biological father. This is all good if—only if—her father was a loving, Christian, God-fearing man. This isn’t the case for many women. As an example, one of the classic stories in feminist anthology is about a feminist writer who grew up in an abusive home where her father beat her mother almost daily in her presence; the woman later forfeited marriage and motherhood and became a raging feminist. In the absence of positive male figures during childhood, women will either grow up to fear or resent male authority. This is a common complaint that this generation of liberal women are unabashedly disrespectful to men, and while they may have learned it from the media and peer pressure, the roots go deeper to a dysfunctional father-absent home (absence could be physically, emotionally or spiritually). As adults, without a secure fatherly childhood attachment, these women will prefer to have only women in positions of leadership or seek to undermine any male authority in the workplace, church, home or social environment. More loving father figures are desperately needed to counteract this tidal wave of feminist chaos.
2. Home is the Heart of the Problem
If a woman grows up in a terrifying home, the last thing she desires is to return from whence she came. This is why, especially in this generation, more liberal women are forfeiting marriage (preferring unbiblical cohabitation), children (advocating sterilization and abortion) and homemaking (abdicating the home for a career). Avoidance is a psychological coping mechanism to deal with childhood trauma as they are fundamentally running away from their feminine shadow. Remember this, abuse happens to victims who are in a position of powerlessness. Feminists appear to be tough, androgynous, machisma as a survival mechanism, as their reasoning is being anything less would put them in a position of perceived powerlessness with potential threats. When women see their mothers or sisters abused or taken advantage of for being “weak, docile, submissive,” they internalize to never become that in order to survive in a world of threats. Women will only come back home and into their gender role when they believe it is the safest place for them to be physically, emotionally and spiritually.
3. Men
Feminists have overspent their resources over several generations to create a caricature of men. If you remember the TV shows of yesteryear men were brave, loyal and principled. Don’t dare to watch anything on TV today to see the degradation of masculinity: either men are depicted as vicious animals or emasculated adolescents. Where are the real men? They only exist in bygone years according to society. This is the caricature portrayed in colleges, media and entertainment: the constant message told to young women today is not to trust men. Meanwhile, today’s men are in a crisis to reclaim their God-given masculinity in a feminist hostile world. Think of the silencing of conservative men (the reason why media platforms like this exist). Men’s opinions are unwelcomed, not tolerated and disrespected as “toxic masculinity” and this is the engineering of feminism. Is it not fair to say that today men are the ones abused in this feminist world?
4. Money and Power
The heart of every woman is to feel secure. Unfortunately, all the feminist/liberal women I know of personally are extremely insecure. Many of them have graduate degrees, high-powered jobs, material wealth, and social status; many things to cover their deep-seated insecurity. How do I know that? That’s all they talk about: they don’t seem to care about anyone else as much as their own survival. It’s like building a castle in the sky, it goes so high that no one else is allowed in. Then comes the climax of the feminist world: loneliness, emptiness and unhappiness. Feminism is deeply materialistic, worldly, ungodly and fearful. Feminists are afraid of men, God and the world they’ve built.
Dear feminists, here is a promise for you:
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18).
5. Religion
Feminism will not leave any stone unturned to take over the world, even the sanctity of our religious beliefs. Today, feminists demand feminist theology, feminist denominations, feminist-led churches, feminist bibles, feminist pronouns in sacred texts and etcetera. This sacrilege is portrayed in Babylon (depicted as a woman in Revelation 17&18), the deification of Mary (heretical), ordination of women (unorthodoxy), and feminist strategies to run our institutions (appeasement with ecumenicalism, inter-faith ideology, and worldly alliances). Remember feminists are female and the concept of spiritual territoriality (that is masculine) and biblical distinctions (2 Corinthians 6: 14-18) are foreign. What feminists hate about Christianity is that our God is Masculine, and their response is either to persecute Christianity or merge it with feminist-friendly Eastern religions that have feminine deities.
Dear feminists, this message is from our God:
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).
The Inconvenient Truth about Women’s Ordination
I will disclose that I have female friends who are ordained in our church. Though I respect them as individuals, the path they have chosen to assume a position of authority has come with severe consequences personally, emotionally, physically and spiritually – that should be a warning! The Bible is clear that a woman should not ascribe a position of authority over men (1 Timothy 2:12) — a Biblical standard that is upheld apparently only outside the Western World. This is not an exegesis or apologetics, but a discussion of why this is spreading throughout the world church. The absence of conservative male leadership in this current generation has created a power vacuum that women aspire to fill. We’re having less men attending our theological programs, choosing instead more lucrative careers; and even fewer men remaining in the ministry, due to the toxic culture of our bureaucracy. Men in ministry are facing burnout, mental health challenges, financial challenges and physical health decline. This strain puts their families in dire needs, and as the head of their households, these ministers choose to take another road to provide ‘a better life’ for their families. Furthermore, in certain localities, we have complete male absence. In such places, women are comprising the majority of congregants and ascend into positions of church leadership. Where is the current and future generation of male leadership? Sidelined to make way for this new wave of female leadership. Instead of fueling a gender war, men in church leadership need to be supported, respected and heard! We as a church need to come around our male leadership with the desire to see them attain to greater spiritual and moral heights. Strong male leadership is the future of our church. When our men are leading from the front, we as women can safely rest as their helpmeets.
How To Deal with Feminists
With all this in mind, we can pivot towards solutions from an intellectual standpoint and onto progress. Here are steps on restoring Biblical feminity with individuals, the church and our community.
1. Uphold Biblical Authority. What is the final say: my truth, your truth or the loudest truth? We’re living in an age of relativism with no absolutes, and the same people who praise intellectualism also want justice. Isn’t justice based on truth? We have the truth and it’s in the Bible. Biblical authority gives justice to all who seek truth and that is why it must remain as the final say.
2. Back to the Gospel. What does the gospel say? “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). Women have fallen and men have fallen. We can all go to the cross of salvation pleading with our Heavenly Father to restore His Edenic purpose in gender identities, roles and purpose, with the humble prayer to “create in me a clean heart” (Psalm 51:10).
3. Heal Relationships with Men. As mentioned, most feminists become that way because of strained relationships with men from fatherlessness, domestic violence, divorce, infidelity and abuse of power. These need to be healed not just on an individual level through counselling and group therapy but as a community through reconciliation and judicial avenues to restore unity. Only when unity is safeguarded, then male authority can be effectively reestablished.
4. Foster Cooperation not Competition. To counteract this gender war, we need to reframe our strategy instead of putting one gender above another, instead, foster a sense of camaraderie where both sides appreciate the contributions of each other. We can appreciate men in leadership and also recognize the sacrificial submissiveness of the women in their lives.
5. Remember the Real Victims. What example are we giving to our offspring? Many are struggling with gender identity, roles and distortions. The future of our church and the world is the current behavior and beliefs of younger generations.
Your Body Your Choice
How does a raging feminist become a conservative woman? She needs to mirror an excellent woman. Her name is Ellen White and her life is a wonderful role model for aspiring women*. Ellen White is exemplary as she wholeheartedly embraced her femininity, gender role and calling as a woman of God.
“Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates” (Proverbs 31:29-31).
Ellen White will receive her reward when Jesus Christ returns. Where are her spiritual daughters? We need women to fill the ranks in the home, workplace, church and world. We need women who will be women, embrace gender roles that are important to a healthy society, and work in a feminine way. Refinement, grace and modesty, these are hidden gems of true femininity. Purity, kindness, forgiveness and gentleness, these are weapons of a strong woman. Wisdom, discernment and a soft tongue, this is how strong women get the job done. Peacefulness, cheerfulness, nurturing and patience: how much we need it in our homes, workplaces and churches. Beauty, let’s not forget that. A beauty that never fades, internally cultivated and of intrinsic value in the eyes of men and God. Forget makeup, jewelry, accessories and designer clothes, this is the secret to true beauty:
“Let it be the hidden [person] of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves” (1 Peter 3:4-5)
Ellen White is most beautiful to me because she turned the ashes of her painful childhood into a beautiful life. Ladies and gentlemen, it doesn’t matter how you start in life but how it ends. You can spend your life miserable, blaming others, hating God and find yourself in the thorns of a hate-filled life or follow Ellen White’s example and totally surrender your life to God.
The greatest want of the world is the want of men-men who will not be bought or sold; men who in their inmost souls are true and honest; men who do not fear to call sin by its right name; men whose conscience is as true to duty as the needle to the pole; men who will stand for the right though the heavens fall (Ed 57.3).
Look around you and see the beautiful world that God gave us. The snow-peaked mountains, voluminous waterfalls, verdant forest trees, savannah grass, colorful flowers and leaves. How much better would we be if we were as beautiful as the world God created. Men would be wonderful gentlemen and women would be ladies in truth and life.
“They that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever (Daniel 12:3)”
Until next time, see you at the next rodeo!
Liza Ngenye is a third generation Adventist living in Southern California. Her personal writing ministry primarily focuses on issues of racism and sexuality. You can contact her by email: lizangenye@gmail.com
*Post Notes: You can read Ellen White’s autobiography in “Testimonies to the Church Volume 1” through her estate online. It is worth noting that Ellen White remains the most published female author worldwide. An accolade worth noting for a woman who consistently defended Biblical feminity with her pen and in her life.