According to the book “The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It,” being “dad deprived” is a leading factor in males’ increased mental illness, addiction, and suicide.
The book links the mass shootings in 53 developed countries to boys and men who lacked a father figure, specifically mentioning six mass shootings that have occurred in the United States since the year 2000.
According to author Warren Farrell during a recent interview,
“All six of those mass school shootings that have killed more than 10 people have been done by boys, and all six of them have been done by boys who have been ‘dad deprived,’ from Sandy Hook right on through to the Texas shooting,”
Farrell was referring to the 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, and the May 24, 2022, shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas.
He said that girls are growing up in the same environment as boys, with access to the same media, video games, and guns and dealing with the same mental health issues, but they aren’t committing any of the shootings.
Farrell has made it a part of his mission to educate lawmakers about the importance of fathers in the lives of children, especially young boys. His efforts have resulted in Florida and Kentucky enacting laws that acknowledge the crucial role of the father, especially in the case of divorce.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, a single mother living with her child or children is the second most common living arrangement in the United States, a number that has doubled in the past 50 years.
As of 2020, 21 percent of children, or about 15.3 million, lived with their mother only, compared to 11 percent, or 7.6 million, in 1968.
The Florida Legislature recently passed HB 7065, which allocated $70 million in funding to provide a wide array of family and youth support through the Department of Juvenile Justice (DJJ) and the Department of Children and Families (DCF).
“There are more than 18 million children in our country who live without a father in their home,” said Gov. Ron DeSantis when he signed the bill into law on April 22. “This has a severe impact on children and often leads to dropping out of school, crime, and substance abuse. Incredibly, there are those who diminish the importance of fatherhood and the nuclear family—we will not let that happen in our state. I am proud to say we are doing everything we can to support involved fatherhood in Florida.”
Farrell said he served on the board of the National Organization for Woman (NOW) in New York City and has spoken all around the world about women’s issues, so he tends to be in line with Democratic thinking on such issues.
When he went to Iowa during the 2020 presidential election to speak with the Democratic candidates, Farrell said candidates John Hickenlooper and Andrew Yang both agreed with him about the epidemic of fatherlessness.
“Their campaign managers, when they started to see that their candidates were agreeing with me, both of their campaign managers came up to me and said, ‘Warren, we can’t afford to have our candidates speak out on the importance of boys having fathers and a lot of father involvement, because we’re afraid to alienate our feminist base.'”
This was not a surprise to Farrell who, having worked in a leadership role of a feminist organization, had seen this type of thinking and the marginalizing of fathers before. These organizations do not put the interests of the children first, but rather the mother.
The boys that committed these mass shootings at schools suffered from not having a caring, strong male role model.
“Boys who are fatherless, very frequently they are not likely to have that postponed gratification that emanates from boundary enforcement. Therefore they start not doing as well in school,” said Farrell.
Farrell said boys are suffering because they are being told that their masculinity is bad. Feminism blames men for societal problems and does not take into account the sacrifices they make for their families.
“We are constantly giving boys a negative image of themselves that is leading to a low self-esteem, that is leading to their seeking compensations,” he said.
Farrell said that while trying to do good, he also blames himself for being on the board of directors of the NOW for three years, where these detrimental feminist ideas that hurt boys, and ultimately girls, were spread.
Farrell began his work for equal rights of women because he believed in the credo, “I am woman, I am strong,” but now he said he doesn’t support feminism because the feminist movement has changed to, “I am woman, I’ve been wronged.” It is a cesspool of victimhood.
This type of thinking is deeply hurting boys, he said, and it needs to change so both boys and girls can benefit from a father’s full input in their lives.
Commentary
If you have been damaged by a missing father, please know that God draws near to the brokenhearted, ready to care for you, His precious son or daughter (Psalm 34:18).
God is deeply, unshakably committed to you. You never have to ask whether he will stay or leave. God himself promises, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).
No matter what you’ve been through with your father or mother, if you are God’s child through faith, He promises to never pack up His suitcase and leave you peering out from the kitchen window. In the middle of your loneliness, God is right there with you (John 14:16–18).
Sadly, some fathers hurt, rather than help. There have certainly been times when I have. They bring pain, rather than the protection that God intended. Take hope: your Father in heaven will never hurt you like this.
He will always protect you, keeping you safe from attacks against you. His hand of protection is unmoved and never tires. Even when he must discipline us, he introduces pain in love, and for our greatest good (Proverbs 3:12). No matter what dangers you face, God remains an unparalleled source of safety and help. He will not let danger overtake you (Isaiah 43:2–3). He is a Father of comfort and protection, not of terror and abuse.
Even when Adam and Eve, God’s very first children, disobeyed, not only did God clothe their nakedness and cover their shame, but he promised the ultimate provision of Christ for their sin, as well as for our sin (Genesis 3:15, 21). In Jesus, the Father has not left us wanting.
As Ellen White writes, there is more mercy in God than sin in you. Flee to Him, the Desire of ages.
God reached out to you in great love when you were at your worst, not your best (Romans 5:6–8). Child of God, run freely into your heavenly Father’s embrace, trusting the Father’s arms to hold you because His Son’s arms were stretched out for you on the cross. He is a hope for the abandoned, a refuge for the fearful, a Father to the fatherless.
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“When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up” (Psalm 27:10)