Exposing Damaging Misbeliefs About Loss and Suffering
COVID-19 . . . sickness . . . job loss. . . paying the bills . . . tragedy . . . suffering . . . death . . .
Why? Why? Why?
We humans seem driven to find an explanation for life’s strange and painful mysteries. In the face of loss and suffering, we cast about for a comforting explanation, but instead, we are often haunted by unspoken questions like:
Where is God? If He’s in control, why is this happening?
Is this loss or tragedy part of a divine Master plan? Was it “meant to be”?
These questions can be troubling—even for those of us who have a strong belief in God. They pose an even greater problem to people who just can’t seem to reconcile the loss and suffering they see on every hand with the idea of a loving God. For those of us who believe, as well as for those who aren’t sure what they believe, these plaguing questionings need explanations that make sense and hold water. But we often find ourselves using worn-out clichés and pat answers—“bandaids”—to cure our confusion and heal our brokenness.
Sometimes it’s almost easier to forget about the whole big mess: pretend it doesn’t exist. But we cannot escape the reality: pain and suffering are all around us. Hurting people silently long for someone—anyone—to understand and acknowledge their aching hearts. Locked in their own little closets of pain, they remain silent for fear of incurring even more pain. We humans find it hard be real about our deep internal struggles; we make almost heroic efforts to “move on” and act like everything is okay—even when it’s not. Some people, knowing they can’t forget, leave God altogether; the “bad” things they see and feel simply don’t mesh with their understanding of God.
I believe in our Seventh-day Adventist message with all my heart and soul. We have an amazing, end-time message that must go to the whole world. It’s a message that contrasts—in no uncertain terms—the character of God with that of His arch-enemy, the “beast” of Revelation (chapters 13 and 14). It’s a glorious proclamation of the true nature of God, His purposes, and the manner of His involvement with us and our sin-broken planet.
But this message is not just a set of interesting theories—it’s meant to transform our hearts and lives. It’s crucial that we clearly understand it—with all its underlying layers and ramifications—if we hope to be truly relevant to a world lying in chains of darkness and despair. If we, as believers in a good and loving God, often fail to experience His healing and transformative power in our innermost souls, how can we expect an increasingly skeptical world to believe and be changed?
Could it be that our internal operating system—those visceral, deeply-rooted misbeliefs that lie at the core of our being—have stripped us of the tools we need to effectively process our losses, our anger, and our pain? I’m not speaking about our doctrines—they have been substantiated by time and indisputable evidence—I’m speaking about our heart-level belief system. It’s my firm conviction that the lies we have bought into (either consciously or subconsciously) are keeping us in bondage, and keeping us from marching forward in the power of the Holy Spirit.
Only truth—pure and unadulterated truth—can truly liberate our souls. Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).
Lies enslave, but truth liberates!
I have personally experienced several difficult losses. In my early teens, I started having some health problems, which just seemed to compound over the years. In college, I experienced a serious health breakdown that left me wondering if I would ever be the same again. Then, a couple years after our marriage (21+ years ago), my husband and I were told by the medical experts that we would never be able to have children naturally.
This news stabbed me like a knife in the heart. It was so hard. Then we started treatment, and that was even harder. Several of our “babies” died before they even had a chance to really start living. For me, each one that didn’t make it was a huge loss. I felt strongly attached to every one of those microscopic babies, but there was no funeral or other rite of passage to help me process the pain. Nobody really understood—it was suffocating. Eventually, we fostered several children, which involved more disappointment and pain. And that’s not all—it’s an abbreviated version of my story.
These experiences propelled me into asking some raw, tough questions about loss and suffering. Out of the deep pain, I began to question many of the assumptions I had previously operated on, things I had just taken for granted. This led to more study, prayer, thought, reflection, and observation. I wanted truth, nothing more, nothing less. More than 14 years later, it culminated in my recently-published book, Is God in Control . . . of Everything?
In order to purge out the hoary lies that hold us captive at the core of our beings—be it shame, anger, doubt, addiction, or any other thing—we must necessarily sift through a myriad of messages bombarding our senses. We must separate fact from opinion, no matter how popular or pleasing to the senses these theories might be. How do we explain a horrific genocide, in which millions of innocent human beings are cruelly slaughtered? Or a gunman shooting up a school full of unsuspecting children? Or the human trafficking of helpless victims, with all its shameful abuse and treachery?
These are the kinds of questions screaming at us from every direction, and they demand more than one-sentence, ready-made platitudes. While Biblical truth is straightforward, it is not simplistic or illogical. We know that God is Sovereign—He is still on the throne—but we also know that He is not the author of evil. So how do these seemingly paradoxical realities fit together in a way that makes sense? How do we process our losses and sufferings? And, perhaps more importantly, how do we genuinely help others who are in the trenches of doubt and pain?
These are the types of questions we wrestle with in this book—fairly, squarely, and from every angle. It will not only help us as Seventh-day Adventists solidify and clarify the heart of our message against the inroads of postmodernism, but it can be also used as a give-away book to people who may not know much about our faith. In many ways, it’s a reiteration of our long-held Great Controversy worldview, in a setting and language the average person can understand and relate to.
Of course, Satan is not happy when we peel back the layers of these soul-liberating truths. We can expect a tough battle as we go in search of truth. When my book was near publication, I had a scary accident on the ice, flipping and totaling the vehicle I was driving—and I had never even slid into a ditch in all my 40 years of experience at the wheel. Then, just a few days later, I was hit with a really bad sickness, and for so long I began to wonder if I would ever get well again—and I almost never get sick. When I do, it’s only a couple of days and I’m right back up again. And there were other things . . . one attack after another. Friends, there is a real life and death battle going on! And it’s getting more serious every day.
Finally, my book got published, and just in time for COVID-19. The very night I announced it on Facebook, the internet literally exploded with toilet paper jokes and pictures of empty store shelves! Another setback, distracting people from receiving the message in this book? I don’t know . . . or perhaps it’s right on time since many folks are struggling with increased anxiety and confusion about what’s happening on Planet Earth.
Aside from the whole coronavirus upheaval, people from all walks of life face deep loss and heart-breaking tragedies. Real people—with real issues, real anxiety, and real pain—need real people to walk alongside them, people who are willing to face the issues of suffering fairly, squarely, and compassionately. They need to see soul-freeing truth acted out in real time and real space.
No more flimsy bandaids—we need heart healing for life-threatening wounds. We have a clarion call, and we must rise up and meet the challenge!
You can read more about this book, or order it (either as a paperback or an eBook) at this Link.
(For those in other countries, you can order it wherever Amazon has local affiliates).
About the Author
After graduating with a bachelor’s degree in religion and elementary education, Carla had the opportunity of serving in a variety of capacities at home and abroad (Thailand, Cambodia, and Belgium). Teaching, music, health education, medical research and writing are some of her many experiences. She is currently a full-time mom of two kids with developmental challenges. Carla also loves animals, gardening, hiking, camping, and skiing.