Dear Jay (Wintermeyer),
After reading your public response to a very personal dilemma, my heart ached with sympathy for the circumstances in which you find yourself.
Silence in the church when it comes to extending redemptive help for a condition we didn’t ask for, is like throwing gasoline on a bonfire. Yes, we have the statements from various church entities that confirm the sinfulness of homosexual behaviors.
We pride ourselves with prophetic light, as though that’s all we need to sustain what has become a brittle and disintegrating denomination. The lack of spiritual guidance, can certainly “feel” like ‘spiritual abuse’ —a term which I was unfamiliar with, prior to you pouring out your heart and soul. I have a different term for it. When it comes to same-sex attraction and the greater LGBT+ topic, there is a combination of ignorance and willful blindness. We seem to be too messy for the likes of a demonstration of God’s deep compassion, grace, love and restorative promises.
The church has emerged from silence to what appears to be two ditches. Either we condemn the person suffering, or we fully embrace it as something that is a “sexual orientation” that is fixed. “Sexual orientation” is from God’s enemy. Sexual intimacy is God’s gift, under His confines of marriage between a man and a woman. The Bible gives no other example. God is not impotent, and unable to provide miracles of “change.” When God does not give us what we desire, (attractions only to someone of the opposite sex) many become frustrated, bitter or angry, waging a retaliatory war, with the idea that “change” is not possible. “Change” is birthed in the heart, not in sensuality. It's vital that we understand the “change” being referenced.
I’d like to address some of the concerns that stuck out as I read your article. I also experienced same-sex attraction from as early in life as I can remember.
As Christians, it becomes vital to our experience, if not our identity, to realize the impact of Satan and the war waged in heaven. How he was prideful, implying that God was unfair and unjust by not giving him power to supersede that of our Creator and King of the universe. He sewed discontent among the angels, contaminating them with self-glorification and redirecting them to follow the dictates of their own will.
Broadly looking across LGBT activism, this might sound pretty familiar, as upon being cast out of heaven, Satan and his angels seek us as subjects of their earthly domain, so that one day the defrocked arch angel will war against heaven, seeking to destroy all that God declares as holy and just.
We’ve historically come full circle from the times of Israel in Judah. We now find ourselves in the throes of culture once again, in need of scriptural counsel and warning.
“Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but everyone followed the dictates of his evil heart; therefore I will bring upon them all the words of this covenant, which I commanded them to do, but which they have not done’” (Jeremiah 11:8).
I want to secure the trustworthiness of Jesus and His divine counsel and outlines to us, while at the same time, address the hurt, pain and frustration of your experience. I know many who—while same-sex attracted—opted to try and please God, their parents, and society, by marrying someone of the opposite sex, thinking it would be the glue that would normalize their existence. However, it didn’t work. Various broken marriages confirm that.
While for decades, many of us prayed for God to make us “straight,” we should have been praying for God’s strength to endure temptation and desire, while focusing on the heart of Jesus and choosing to live in agreement with Him. Yes, that includes celibacy. It’s not a death sentence. It’s a prerequisite for living for Christ, instead of what our flesh begs for. We’re stained with sin, thus Satan will never stop tempting us with things we might enjoy, yet counterfeit all that God intends for us.
Temptation is not sin. Indulging and departing from the strength offered through Jesus is. Satan can’t force us to indulge. It’s often overwhelming. And sometimes, we lose the battle and must cry out for the blood of Jesus, embracing His grace and mercy, and start again.
“Change” is not that of sexual persuasion, but of humbly giving our hearts and flesh over to Jesus. To live for Him, instead of the passions and desires of the flesh.
God doesn’t leave prayers unanswered. That truly would not be fair or just. However, He quite often does not answer according to our direction, but according to what is best for us. Removing same-sex attraction upon demand, would put God under our jurisdiction. Jesus wants us to grow in a faith experience, continually learning to give our desires and temptations over to Him in the midst of our dilemma; strengthening us in Him.
After forty years deeply immersed in the LGBT+ culture, I cried out and asked God, “What do you want from me?” He answered, “Intimacy.” Instead of chasing my desires and inclinations, He is inviting me to trust, honor and obey Him (John 15:5, 9, 10).
Even in the face of cultural and denominational opposition, God is still inviting me to pick up my cross and follow Him. Painful, devastating at times? Absolutely! But I don’t’ get to heaven by following the church or waiting for them to love me. My only guarantee comes from daily immersing myself in Him, by trusting that His ways are certainly not my ways. They are fair and just.
Unless Jesus is the center of every marriage, unless He becomes our orientation, instead of sex, we will be swallowed up by that which consumes us. Essentially, Satan and his deceptions. The survival rate of marriage is not centered in its intimate relations, but by its foundation on the Rock.
I wholeheartedly agree with you that the church has not clearly demonstrated “love” to the LGBT+ community. That is why my ministry, Know His Love Ministries, and my colleagues in ‘Coming Out’ Ministries exists. We seek to help educate leadership and church members about loving as Jesus does, without compromise. True love will draw you to Jesus, instead of endorsing the feelings that seek to alienate us from Him.
Satan desperately wants us to believe that “love” can be whatever our flesh and hearts define it to be. I’m sure you remember, as Jeremiah points out, that our hearts are desperately wicked.
Denying self isn’t popular. Praise Jesus that His love is unconditional. However, there are conditions for heaven.
The Trevor Project
I’d like to address your mention of The Trevor Project. This is not an organization that points a single LGBT+ person to Jesus. It seeks to hold captive, those who might otherwise respond to the greatest love that has the potential to win us a place with Him forever. Gay rights didn’t evolve from a church. They evolved from a gay bar in New York city. A place to hook up sexually and for drag queens to come and live an alternate life.
During Pride Month, Macy’s invites you to round your purchase off to the nearest dollar. One of the “charities” during this June, was The Trevor Project. Thousands of dollars are being spent to further indoctrinate practices that can’t possibly honor or glorify Jesus. Suicide isn’t prompted by those who truly represent the love of Jesus. He hung out with sinners. Not to endorse their sin, but to win their hearts as the Author of love. Not to indulge in their passions heavily influenced by Satan, but to win their hearts, converting them, and winning their affection, trust, and perseverance through a life of restoration in Him. He is the King of beautiful love stories.
Dear brother, “spiritual abuse” is being exacerbated by those taking exception with the trustworthiness of God’s holy Word, and embracing a counterfeit led by the prince of darkness.
I often hear of the “good works” being done by many who work for our institutions. Let’s keep in mind the counsel of Luke 13:27. There will be many who do great things in the name of God. However, their unwillingness to humbly come before Him and be changed by Him ends up costing eternity with Him.
While God intends that we use the intelligence of science, it is only so long as it points to Christ and agrees with scripture. ANY surrendered soul may “change” because of surrendering to Jesus. “Change” may not be the same for every person. However, all change led by Jesus will agree with His Word to us. Reinterpreting Scripture from how it reads is dangerous.
I share my thoughts, as I have come to know the fairness, justness and reliability of Jesus Christ. I’m a flawed sinner who has failed, even since my conversion. However, Proverbs 24:16 assures me that I can rise again and move forward in the blessed assurance of Jesus.
I don’t have to imagine the confusion and heartache you’ve experienced. My prayers are with you, in hopes that you will genuinely experience the love of Jesus He extends. Not to affirm us in our failures and weaknesses, but to strengthen us with His amazing promises of becoming a “New Creation” in Him. 2 Corinthians 5:17.
I’d like to share something with you and many others challenged with same-sex attraction and other LGBT+ ideations.
Does Jesus know the beginning from the end? Is His Word for all time? Does Jesus change over time?
I serve a fair and just God. It would be tricky, evil and unfair of God to, on judgment day, tell me that being gay is okay, I just had to figure it out. It would be evil of Him to provide me with His counsel for a man and a woman, in the institution of marriage, from Genesis to Revelation, but not provide the same counsel for a same-sex intimate relationship, if that brings Him honor and glory.
Titus 2:11-13 is highlighted in my bible, reminding me that God’s grace, (strength) is available to me to let go of the fleshly lies Satan sold me. They continue to taunt me today, and likely until Jesus comes. Jesus offers to “redeem” me, if I would humble myself before Him. It’s a daily struggle, simply because our lives are challenged on this earth to buy into that which comes natural, sin.
I appreciate you sharing your heart. As you pointed out, if we are truly surrendered to Christ and His ways, not ours, He will finish the good work He began in us (Philippians 1:6.).
Should you desire to meet many others who have left LGBT+ culture for Christ and hear how God has brought “change” into their lives, please contact me at 2knowhislove@gmail.com. I extend this invitation to anyone else who might be experiencing confusion, loneliness, and pain from sexual confusion.
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Wayne Blakely’s ministry, “Know His Love Ministries,” was established in 2010, in an effort to educate the church body, and provide a focus on promoting a redemptive, restorative relationship with Christ, for those struggling with LGBT+ ideations.