‘Ello Chaps! Mouse here, stopping by with a bit of wisdom to close out the magnificent two-thousand and nineteen year of our Lord. I shall come right to the point, lads.
You know who you are.
When asked (after a positive outcome) “How did it go?” you respond with the universal “A OK” hand sign or the “Thumbs up.” When asked if you are ok after slipping on the ice or motorway moss near Charring Cross, you respond with the OK hand sign. Well STOP it.
The OK hand sign has just been declared a hate or racist symbol by the the Anti-Defamation league, and the perennially panicky PC police. You know what that means. Go gather up all your “OK” hand signs and turn them in at the local PC Police station. Do it willingly before they come for you. If you don’t live in the proximity of a PC department, the local liberal arts college Women’s Studies professor, Starbucks, or Episcopalian Church will do.
We are also informed in an NPR article that the bowl-cut haircut might also be a racist symbol. If you have Amish in your neighborhood, go to them and spread the word. Do it quickly. You might save them from becoming the target of late-night interrogations, and being forced to wear the dreaded 1980’s mullet or the Liverpool mohawk as a sign of penance. Bowl cuts are out. Snowflakes are in.
Also according to the Perennially Offended Political Police (POPP), other hate signs are the numbers 100, 109, 12, 13, 14, 23, 18, 28, 88 and 311. Avoid these! Number 7 is ok for now, but don’t get overconfident, ye Fulcrumites, and sons of Fulcrumites!
The anti-Antifa image is also a hate symbol, as we just learned in south London. If you are opposed to the warm gentle cherubs of Antifa, you are undoubtedly a neo-nazi hatemonger, and should be treated accordingly. That means being forced to attend sensitivity training, a non-surgical pre-frontal PC lobotomy.
I sign off by giving each of you a hearty end-of-the year thumbs up.
Wait a minute. The “thumbs up” gesture looks a lot like an ‘L’. And ‘L’ could stand for some pretty offensive words, like Loser, Liverwurst and Lazy. I withdraw that thumbs up. I shall instead waft a benign airbrushed farewell from the safety of West Houghham.
Come quickly, Lord Jesus. Until that blessed Day I remain
Yours forever,
ChurchMouse
